Cocaine

Interview: Cocaine
Interviewee would like to remain anonymous
February 24, 2016

How did you get caught up in using cocaine?
Well, I actually started selling before I started using. I noticed a bunch of kids who used it at these parties, and they were paying so much, like they were getting ripped off. So I got involved. A friend of mine knew this guy, as it always goes, and I started buying in really small amounts, a few grams, things like that.

How much were you buying a gram for?
It depends. Usually $50-$60 for a g. But people buy smaller amounts, like a bump for only $6.

Who were you selling cocaine to? What were your demographics?
Mostly white high school and college kids, actually. Most of them get really nervous about it.. I don’t usually sell to high school kids because I feel bad. Some like 25-30 year olds. But mostly college kids.

How old were you when you started selling?
I was 18.

What about using?
20.

What did you feel like when you used?
After a little while, like I was on top of the world, like I was friends with everyone, like I could do anything I wanted to. It’s definitely a confidence booster. I felt like I could feel and see the blood rush through my veins. It’s the craziest thing. Then, later on when you start using too much, like everyone is watching you, like everyone is whispering or talking about you. It’s like something is always hanging over your head. It’s not like everyone makes it out to be. It burns.

Why did you stop selling?
I was getting too caught up in it. Word spreads fast, especially in a small town like ours. I was getting really angry all the time, I always had to cover my tracks, always had to know who else was selling.. things like that. I was tired of it.

So you took to using? Why’s that?
Basically, yeah. I had a hard time after my dad died, so this was my way of coping.

What made you stop?
My mom found out and sent me to rehab in Florida. I never want to see her that upset again, so I promised that I wouldn’t use or sell anymore. And I’ve kept that promise and it’s something I’m really proud of.