“No Fats, No Femmes” – Richard Berwind


My favorite thing about Grindr 

Is the headless men 


You see, these “men” 

They write 

no fats, no femmes, no blacks, no asians 

They write 

Masc for Masc 

They write 

If I don’t respond to u then ur ugly 

You see, these men 

DM my inbox 

And they’re looking for an “experience” 

                                I’ve never been with a fat guy before 

                                Can you fuck me in drag?? 

Can you just fuck off 

I am not your fantasy 

And I am not your camera roll 

So I am NOT going to save your dick pics 

I am not your chub rub fantasy 

I am not your young cub that 

You can train into submission 

And no, I will definitely not piss 

In your mouth 

And when I tell them I have depression 

They say                  This dick will cure you 

Well, I didn’t know something so small 

Could cure me! 

They say I have bottom blues 

Or I need a good fuck 

Or I need to stop being so 

Goddamn feminine 

Femininity is unattractive 

And well, you see, 

I have worked so long 

To learn to love my 

Femininity and 

My curves and 

My hair and 

My self 

And you see, they say 

I scare the boys away 

That my confidence 

Or my vulnerability 

Depending on the 

Day is unattractive 

And, they’re right 

I’m glad I scare them away 


Author Bio:

Richard Berwind, a senior at Susquehanna University, is a cartoonist, poet, and essayist. He hopes to find love, adopt five dogs, and have an apartment on the moon.

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