Katie Willis
No one asked but I’m providing it anyway,
brought to you by my own self deprecation. Enjoy.
(door creaks open)
Oh Hi, God I didn’t even see you come in. Look I know we just met and all but I think I can really trust you. See, I’ve come to the conclusion(for the third time today) that I’m beyond help at this point and I don’t know what to do about it. ( You should just pretend voice effect) I should just pretend? That’s your idea? for the sake of this, we’ll pretend. I’m Katie by the way and welcome to whatever this hot mess is. Today, I guess we’ll dive deep into the reasons why I am the disappointment that I am. So if your curious, keep on listening.
Now, Before we get into anything—
You might be sitting there thinking I’m overreacting here and maybe I am (to an extent) but I only say this because sometimes I swear my life feels like plot to really bad sitcom.
Like for instance, I’ve been at school for a whole three weeks and have already managed to get sick.
Granted, everyone you talk to that knows me will make the argument to say that I’m literally always sick which…is sadly pretty much true. But yes, I figure by now I must have the 3rd stage of some kind of plague and my body is losing all will power to keep going but that’s beside the point.
With that out of the way, I feel like this may be the appropriate time to touch bases on the real issues and let everyone know that I’m pretty fricken lame.
(Although, you might have already come to that conclusion on your own. If so, congrats! you win a gold star.)
I wish I could come on here and boast about all the things I’m good at, but I’m pretty mediocre at just about everything.(except making fun of myself)
I DO, however, know my way around the internet pretty well because I spend a little too much time online like every other millennial because we for whatever reason hate the idea of interacting with other humans face to face. Online you can create whatever persona you want. Just like I am right now. The information that I’m presenting you with is probably the only thing you know about me.
Talking to strangers is one of those things your parents always taught you not to do but frankly our entire generation has completely nixed that rule with the emergence of the internet. They definitely had a good point because in one instance you could think you’re talking to a 18 year old girl but there’s also that slim chance you could be talking to be a 40 year old serial killer (honestly the possibilities are endless!)
But don’t get me wrong. There are definitely a lot of good qualities to the internet as well, it enables you to connect with people you’d probably never actually meet in real life. For me, through various social media sites I was able to discover a whole community of people who shared the same interests as me. And I know that not everyone has the easiest time finding a super close group of friends but for me it was lot easier to find them online.
More specifically, I turn to twitter where I can waste too much of my free time writing out meh jokes and stupid stories just to have the same five people like and retweet them. But then again, I post content not looking for the approval from other people. I post things online because it’s fun for me and I like connecting with other people and I could honestly care less if you don’t like it because at the end of the day the only person’s opinion that matters is me.
(long pause, music fades out)
(too bad I hate me too voice effect)
(Help Me music plays as outro)