“New Year, New Me” – Richard Berwind

My New Year’s Resolution was to stop thirsting after guys.

This has been my resolution for the last three years.

It took me three weeks to fail this resolution this time.

This time I truly thought that I could love myself, that I am enough for myself, but I have never learned what it was like for someone to love me, and I learn through example.

The only time a man has ever said they loved me was when I had my mouth wrapped around them, so I guess by example I learned to open an app whenever I want to feel Love.

Love has never lasted long.

These men have never lasted long, not as long as I last.

My heart doesn’t know how long it will last without love, so I guess that’s why this app never stays deleted for long, because as long as I can get a man off, maybe my heart can last longer than
my New Year’s Resolution.

Richard Berwind is a Creative Writing and English Literature double major with a double minor in Publishing and Editing and Theater. He has previously been published in Flagship and Essay. In his free time, he attempts to be as gay as he possibly can. He dreams of falling in love, adopting five dogs, and getting an apartment on the moon.

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