[Orchestra music opens up]
[Sound of partying, singing, talking yelling]
[Sounds become muffled and a door closes.]
SARAH L: That sounds like a wild party. Am I right?
RANDOM VOICE: Oh hell yeah.
SARAH L: Where do you think they are? A club, a bar, a college campus? If you said College campus, well you’re right.
RANDOM VOICE: Yeehaw
SARAH L: See, this is what a lot of people actually believe goes on during the nightlife school nonstop. Never ending raging party. Somehow college kids got this stereotype that all they do is sleep party, eat and then party again. Is this actually true? How do people feel about this? How do college kids feel about this more importantly? we’re more than just partying fiends. We have thoughts, opinions, and questions that are just as valid as those who are older and younger than us. We are more than just a stereotype.
SARAH L: Okay, I have some friends with me. Would you guys like to introduce yourself?
ALLY MOSOMILLO: Hi, I’m Ally Mosomillo, I’m a junior biology major and healthcare studies minor.
JAMES HOON: Hi I’m James Hoon and I’m a senior creative writing major.
LINDSAY KOVAC: Hi, I’m Lindsay Kovac. I’m a junior publishing and Editing major with minors in professional and civic writing and biology.
ALEXANDRA QUINTAL: Hi, I’m Alexandra Quintal. I’m a junior and I’m an international studies and French double major with minors in philosophy, Italian and Jewish and Israeli studies.
SARAH L: Well, thank you for being here. I have some questions for you guys since obviously we’re all college students, I would like to know if you guys have a favorite movie that focuses on college kids and how those kids were portrayed
LINDSAY: 22 jump street and as partiers.
JAMES: Um, I would have to say neighbors, um, and like in 22 jump street, they are portrayed as the partiers who are obnoxious to the surrounding people who live in the neighborhoods slash town.
ALEXANDRA: I can’t think of any movies with college students right now,
ALLY: Um, neighbors because I think it puts college kids and a bit of a, negative light somewhat, and creates the stereotype of the party atmosphere.
SARAH L: How do you think this type of media representation hurts or helps the reputation college kids have?
JAMES: Um, well, it just further portrays the stereotype that people, when we go to college in order to party, they don’t really focus on their education, which in my experience is the complete opposite.
LINDSAY: Yeah, I think it definitely hurts because it’s just kind of showing the stereotypical party scene.
ALEXANDRA: Yeah, I agree with what James and Lindsay, are saying that it’s not a good idea or a good image that is portrayed on college students because while that there is some truth to it, it’s not what the majority of people are doing all the time.
JAMES: I know when I told my mom that I was going to apply to college, she, That was one of her biggest concerns is like, oh, you’re going to go off to college and your gonna party when like that’s the opposite.
SARAH L: Okay. So this next question is a little bit more personal. Have you ever had a difficult time balancing your academic or work life and your social life? Why or why not? And how has this affected you at school?
ALLY: I’ve definitely had a hard time balancing my academic work and my social life. I tend to isolate myself when I’m really stressed. I have a hard time removing myself when I’m too stressed so I can’t often relax.
JAMES: During my first year and even during my sophomore year, I definitely found it a little difficult balancing that because like you’re new to college and I wanted to try and be a part of lots of different clubs and organizations, um, and like honestly when you try and do that, like you forget that you have work and fall behind, but then in recent years, I’ve found that balance of like what organizations I want to put my energy into as well as like, um, like better ways to focus on my studying and make it easier to keep up with it.
LINDSAY: Yeah. I find that like every other week is Halloween and um, it’s hard because you have to keep up with your academics also see your friends, but then also you need to find your own time. So it just kind of works itself out you lose some hours of sleep, but it works itself out.
ALEXANDRA: Um, yeah, I definitely feel the struggle between academics and social life, but I’ve always like put my academics first and prioritize that. So I’ve always thought of it like, okay, I get all my academic stuff done first. If I have time to do things then I’ll do that. So it hasn’t been too much of a challenge because they kind of face the same thing in high school. But yeah, there definitely is an adjustment just because there’s more pressures in college.
SARAH L: What was your perspective or idea on how your social life was going to be like when you first entered college and what was your perspective on what the party life was here on campus?
JAMES: Um, when, I mean honestly in high school I didn’t really do much partying. Like I rarely hung out with anyone outside of school. Um, so coming into college I didn’t think I would like, enjoy the social aspect. I definitely was not planning on partaking in it nearly as much as I ended up doing that.
LINDSAY: Um, I thought that coming into college my social life and party life wouldn’t be too big because I wasn’t a big partier in high school. And I also had this thing, I had this thought in my head that like coming into college, I would have so much work,
ALEXANDRA: Um, so I thought college was going to be very different for me in this way because I never, it, never crossed my mind about partying in high school and going into college, I didn’t even think of that. Um, and I also thought that I would be so focused on academics that like friends would work themselves out in social situation, work themselves out, but they really do take effort and you have to be considerate of that as well.
ALLY: Um, so coming into college for me, like when I was in high school, I never really was involved in a party atmosphere. And so when I got here I expected to completely be involved in my academics and I never really anticipated going out and partying with anybody. The more that I found my close knit friends though, I find myself spending more time with them and taking more time to relax. So I’m definitely not what I anticipated it to be. But I, I find a good balance with it.
SARAH L: Would you guys say that you found the balance between academic and social life?
ALL TALKING: Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. I agree.
SARAH L: Has there ever been a time where you opted to stay in rather than go out or vice versa? Yes. When, what? What was the occasion?
JAMES: I mean sometimes there are days that like my friends are like, oh, let’s go to the bar or like let’s go hang out somewhere. Um, but like depending on my school work or like I’m a senior community assistance so I have to be on duty sometimes. So like I, this year I was on duty for like the Halloween weekend so I wasn’t able to go out with friends that night.
LINDSAY: Um, yes, sometimes if there’s like something happening, but I decided that like I haven’t had time in a while. I just take the time to myself.
ALEXANDRA: Yes. There’s definitely been times when I’ve opted to not go out with friends and gotten work done. Usually on Sundays, but sometimes Saturdays I don’t do any work. Like can take a full day off of not doing work and sometimes that can really conflict with things that I want to do instead. like on a Friday or a Saturday, got
ALLY: Yeah, I’ve definitely opted to stay in, like versus to go out. Um, I find that when I’m really stressed with my academics or I feel like I haven’t like had any time for myself lately, I really, I choose to just stay in and take that time for me.
SARAH L: What about Greek life? How do you feel about the stereotypes surrounding Greek life and partying and just social life in general.
JAMES: So being a part of both a service fraternity and a social fraternity, there’s still that negative connotation that comes with being a Greek student. A lot of the fraternity men and sorority women that I know are very focused on their academics and philanthropy’s a much more than they are on the social aspect. That’s definitely still a thing, but I’ve found that the focus is definitely on the other things.
LINDSAY: I think Greek organizations get a really bad rap, but like my organization APO, we focused mainly on volunteer service and we’re also dry organization. So
ALEXANDRA: I guess like being on the outside of Greek life, like I’ve never really had an interest in joining mainly because of the stereotype I guess on college campuses and partying and hazing. I think that our campus, definitely like actively tries to make an effort to prevent hazing and hopefully on the outside, you know, it seems as though they’re trying to prevent drinking and end the partying. Stereotype.
ALEXANDRA: So I’m not in a Greek organization, but I think I came in with more stereotype, more ideas of stereotypes than what is actually true that like most people in Greek organizations, at least here are not so focused on social life above academics or other work or things.
SARAH L: Well, I’d just like to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to sit down and talk to you guys and get to ask you some questions about partying life on campus because who knows better than what the social life on campuses than college students. And I’d also like to thank you guys for kind of debunking this college misconception.
[Orchestra music plays and segments end]
[emotional dramatic music plays]
AMANDA: Hi I’m Amanda Leyman and I’m here with Maddie Car and we hope to explore some of the common misconceptions about friendships in college through the friendship that we shared. More specifically we will be talking about, the false idea that some of the first friendships you make will become your best friends for life. We will do this by discussing our friendship and how it didn’t pan out the way we thought it would. One day we were best friends and the next we weren’t friend at all. This is actually the first time we’ve talked since freshman year. So just to start, what did you think about college friendships as an incoming freshman? What was your mindset going into college?
MADDIE: Ya well, I guess going into college, I’m from California, so coming here was a really big step for me. I didn’t really know a single soul, so it was having to relearn how to become friends with people and make new connections was really scary for me, as is like a lot of other people, but ya it was a very intimidating process but ya overall I had no idea what I was doing. And I think that being 18 and coming from where I came from and not having anyone that had the same experiences. So that was just really scary for me.
AMANDA: So your biggest issue was feeling you couldn’t relate to people?
MADDIE: Ya I think that was one of the big issues. I had no common ground with anybody I saw.
AMANDA: Ok so after you had these problems, I guess, like fitting in and everything, we ended up becoming friends quite early in our freshman year. How were you feeling with this new friendship since you were so anxious like previously? Was it something that helped you?
MADDIE: Well ya, I know you lived a couple doors down and that was really nice, ya know. It felt like summer camp and we could just walk down the hall and hang out with each other.
AMANDA: We could just hang out whenever we wanted.
MADDIE: Ya and it was easy. I will say that, is hanging out in your room or going to dinner, I felt like there wasn’t a moment where I was like “oh my god what am I doing? Or I don’t know this person”. We were both getting to know each other, we were in the same boat, and ya it was good. It wasn’t a negative experience. It was definitely a relief. I was like “oh my god I found someone” that I could hang out with, that I could talk to, and I think that I have a lot of fond memories from that time.
AMANDA: I agree, is there one specifically, maybe you wanna talk about, that was like a very fond memory?
MADDIE: Hmmm there’s so like many random memories. OH I don’t know; I think there was this one time where we were hanging out. It was like three in the morning, we would always stay up, I don’t know why we were always up at like 3 in the morning….
AMANDA: We did. We were night owls.
MADDIE: Ya we were. So I remember one time where we ended up just like running around campus at like three in the morning trying to like climb trees.
AMANDA: OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THAT, YA!
MADDIE: Ya it was like on… right in front of Seibert, like right in front of Hass. I think that was just one of those time that you just, don’t forget. I don’t know, that was always a good memory for me.
AMANDA: So now that we’ve talked about the fact that we have had good times, when did you start to feel like maybe we were growing apart?
MADDIE: There were moments where I felt extremely lost and lonely my freshman year, it was a whole mess. But I just remember there were times where I felt like, I got to learn a lot about you and the things you liked and it was just hard for me to connect with you on things that I liked. And I remember we sat down one time and I told you, I was like “Hey, like I’m really sorry- I’m just kind of- can you listen to a song that I like or watch a movie that I recommend, or something so we can like connect about it. And I think that was one of those moments where we thought we worked it out but, it was almost like, there was never a moment where I got to show you something that I liked. And that was hard for me because I was so excited to learn about you and like make new memories and there was just like that missing piece for me. And I think that’s where I was always a little disconnected.
AMANDA: I’m really sorry we never got to explore your interests as much. I do feel bad about that
MADDIE: [interjecting] No its ok. Ya.
AMANDA: I agree we were very different and I think its something that I like to think about, about freshman friendships. Is that, people tend to get together with people like you said earlier because its easy. We were close, ya know. We ended up being friends with people that we didn’t have anything in common with as much.
MADDIE: Ya, don’t get me wrong, I think being friends with you and us being different wasn’t a bad thing. You definitely introduced me to like Studio Ghibli and like anime, and things that I never would have found by myself. But it was just we were so different. It was so crazy to just try and mesh us together right away.
AMANDA: I agree. Ok so how did us no longer being friends, like after it happened, how did you feel affected by it.
MADDIE: Uhmm I definitely felt a little guilt because I know I didn’t handle things properly, obviously. But definitely a lot of anxiety, just seeing you around, not knowing how that friendship was gonna work and I mean its lasted up until now. Not knowing whether I can wave to you in the hallway and I’m really bad at confrontation or like figuring out how to go from being really close to having a falling out. And then going into how does that translate into who we are now. So it wasn’t easy.
AMANDA: I definitely felt like a lot of uncertainty and like just not knowing how to handle it was what made it difficult.
MADDIE: Exactly and no one teaches you that. No one’s like “Oh my god ya so if this happens, if you don’t get a long with someone, just you know, do this, this and this”. There’s no set way of handling a situation like this. Its hard.
AMANDA: It is hard, but we grow and we learn. And that’s why we’re here now. So did losing me as a friend, affect your outlook when making new friends?
MADDIE: I think it definitely made me more cautious to try and figure out who someone was before I was so close to them, because obviously I don’t want to hurt anyone. That was never my intention. And so I think that maybe a little bit wary to kind of make those new connections. Also it didn’t help my confidence, obviously, just losing a friend. I’ve ever been one to just completely drop someone, so that was really hard to swallow. That was a hard pill to swallow.
AMANDA: No I felt the same way. Like after when I tried to make new friends, I was definitely nervous. I was definitely going into it with insecurities. But like, I wouldn’t have been able to make the friends that I made without going through the bad time, like without learning from it.
MADDIE: Exactly.
AMANDA: Do you know what I mean?
MADDIE: I’ve always thought that I’ve learned so much more from my failures or something bad that’s happened than, you know, things always being perfect. So I thin that even though our friendship didn’t work out, in that time, we grew as people. And like without that I don’t know that we would have met people in our lives that we have now. And whether that’s a good or a bad thing, I guess we’ll never know, but it definitely helps shape us and helped us learn.
AMANDA: Ya and like help make us the people we are today.
MADDIE: Exactly.
AMANDA: Ya, now that its been like three years, would you do anything differently if you could?
MADDIE: I think that I would’ve handles things differently. This has always kind of been in the back of my mind of, I’m not proud of how things… unfolded. But ya I think, I wouldn’t have known these things unless this happened. So definitely looking back I think I would have communicated more. Or if I wasn’t feeling this friendship was something that I wanted to foster in the same way, I wish I would have remained friends, I think. That that’s what I took away from it the most. Ya know we didn’t have to hang out everyday. We didn’t have to be super duper close, but I still wish I could’ve reached out to you and hung out with you, or at least said hi to you. I wish I could at least have just been able to say hi. Ya know?
AMANDA: I agree. I wish we could have felt like we could.
MADDIE: Exactly, ya I wish the feeling wouldn’t have been anxiety every time we saw each other.
AMANDA: Exactly, so it’s a similar question but what do you think we should have done differently in order to stay friends? Maybe specifically like taking more time to understand each other and to understand what made us different and how we could be similar, is what I think.
MADDIE: Ya I think, I’m sure I could’ve tried harder to be like “hey watch this”, you know what I mean? I don’t know exactly what would’ve changed it. Maybe if we had just given it more time. And I think that just communicating more.
AMANDA: Ya.
MADDIE: As best we could.
AMANDA: I think communication should’ve been something more.
MADDIE: Ya and I feel like we tried.
AMANDA: YA.
MADDIE: I remember having one or two of these conversations.
AMANDA: We did try, exactly.
MADDIE: Where we tried to make it happen. I think it hit that breaking point and instead of working it out or calling each other out on it, we were but angry or we were both like done. Know what I mean?
AMANDA: Ya, I feel like we were both very anxious at the end and we were both not confrontational.
MADDIE: Ya and not confident in ourselves.
AMANDA: Exactly! We were still learning ourselves. Like I definitely wasn’t confident then.
MADDIE: [chuckles in agreement]
AMANDA: Exactly like we weren’t. So it took a lot for us to be able to do that, cause I’ve only been able to do that, like be more confident as I got through college.
MADDIE: Ya and there was also that… there’s that outside pressure of seeing those people that are roommates or they’ve been friends since day one and everything is perfect and dandy and they hang out all the time and your like “Oh my god I wish I had that”. So when things weren’t working out it was almost like “Oh my god I picked the wrong person, like its not gonna work out. Like what’s happening? Its awful.
AMANDA: [interjecting] You just tend to like put yourself outside of yourself and you look in and you’re like, “What am I doing wrong to not be like them”.
MADDIE: [interjecting] Exactly…. Exactly.
AMANDA: And like we were self conscious and caught up in it. It comes back to the same problem but…
MADDIE: Exactly.
AMANDA: Its alright.
MADDIE: I think we’ve… pinpointed some of the worse parts.
AMANDA: Well I think we’ve pinpointed our problems. So, to turn the tables because I’m just asking you all the questions, do you have any questions for me?
MADDIE: I mean I’m not prepared.
[both giggle]
MADDIE: Did you ever feel like there was a point in our friendship where, like you felt it started to go downhill?
AMANDA: To be honest, I was caught off guard…
MADDIE: [in background] Oh
AMANDA: …when things went down hill a little bit. I was very optimistic when I was younger and I was very like “Every thing’s great” like “It’s fine”. And just I don’t think I realized how real it was. Like I don’t think I realized how you felt as much.
MADDIE: I wasn’t miserable because of you. It was a really hard transition for me, but I think there was a point where I was like “I wish you would see more of me”.
AMANDA: If there was a time where I thought things were falling through, it was definitely like more towards the end of it.
MADDIE: Ok, ya. I don’t think it was gradual. I think I brought the whole ‘bringing me into the friendship thing’ up and I though it was gonna be ok. And then all of a sudden it was like… it was like a couple of days and then it all kind of like came to fruition at one point. I don’t want you to think it was a whole two moth period…
AMANDA: [interjecting] Ya.
MADDIE: … where I was like “Oh my god I have to get out of this”. It wasn’t like that. That time that we probably needed just wasn’t a thing.
AMANDA: We were all going through so much too at the time. Like I had my own problems. You had your own problems.
MADDIE: Ya I know we were both… but ya.
AMANDA: And it was like, it worked then because I’m glad that you were there for me when I was going through those things. And its just at the same time that we were going through them that we were just not able to look at our friendship as closely. Like you said earlier we spent a lot of time together. So I feel like we were just so used to seeing each other all the time, that it was like hard to step back and look at it. Because if we did it’d be like “Well that’s my friend. That’s my closest friend right now”. It was scary to look in on it, because you didn’t want to think, “What if this isn’t right?”.
MADDIE: It sucks.
AMANDA: It does. Its hard to get through but it helped me, you know, like I valued our friendship when we had it… happy that it happened
MADDIE: Ya I agree.
AMANDA: And then like coming out of it, it was definitely hard in the beginning but I was definitely able to grow and move forward, ya know. I needed that experience to like get me to the next one.
MADDIE: Ya I agree.
AMANDA: now that we’ve talked about this how do you feel regarding our situation? Do you feel better about it?
MADDIE: Ya I feel a lot of relief, I will say. I think you coming up to me the other day was the last thing I expected. I honestly heard my name and I was like “Oh who’s calling after me?” and I turned around and I was like “Oh god. What’s happening?” I was like, “Who died?” like “Oh no!”.
AMANDA: [laughing in background]
MADDIE: But ya I think that, I’m really glad. I honestly thought about making amends for a really long time, buy you know, I dint know where you were at. And obviously I didn’t want to stir up old drama if it was just gonna make it more dramatic. But I feel kind of sad a little bit that we let this get in between us for so long cause I think that…
AMANDA: I agree.
MADDIE: … we did grow as people. And it sucks that now we’re seniors, but I’m glad that we could work through this.
AMANDA: Me too. I’m really glad that we are talking about this and are able to work through this.
MADDIE: Ya and it doesn’t seem like there’s much animosity, because we’ve been having conversation and its like nice. And I its really nice to have someone that remembers that part of my life. Because I don’t have anyone that does anymore.
AMANDA: No I agree I feel the same way. Its nice to be able to talk about these things now that we did back then and be able to look back on them together at things we experienced together.
MADDIE: Ya cause we experienced so much of it with each other. We had some of our first college experiences together. Its crazy.
AMANDA: That’s why like I have… I value this so much. Going back to when you said how surprised you were when I came up to you. It took a lot for me to come up to you. I saw you sitting at Starbucks and I was being really creepy and I was like looking at her and I was like “I gotta ask her about this podcast. I gotta ask her about this interview.” And I was like “No go ask her”. And then like you started walking and I was like “Darn she’s like”, right. So I was like “What do I do”. And then I just kinda like speed walked out. And then like just called out to you, like my adrenaline was like pumping. I was like “I gotta do this now before I chicken out”.
MADDIE: I had my headphones in, so im very surprised that I heard you. And so I think that that, I don’t know whatever you believe in, seems like it was a little meant to be.
AMANDA: So lastly, do you have advice for your past self, for our situation or just in general, cause I know we both had more hardships with friendship beside us?
MADDIE: Honestly, this is gonna sound so cliché but, be more confident in yourself because you have a lot to offer. But I think on a different level, break out of your comfort zones. Everyone’s in the same boat. Everyone’s just trying to make friends. Its four years of your life and just get it together. Meet new people. That’s best thing I could have done in college is I started to branch out cause I mean things didn’t work out obviously in this friendship, but it almost forced me to go and find people. That’s been the most rewarding part of my college experience, is all of the friendships and all of the relationships that I’ve made thus far. But just like be yourself. Just do you.
AMANDA: Be yourself exactly. My one friend said something really interesting: People like it when you’re yourself.
MADDIE: If you show actual interest in something because its who you are and its what you like, people are gonna respond to that.
AMANDA: I agree. That was a great way to end this actually. So thank you for talking wit me again. It must have been hard to decide to talk about this, and it was definitely hard for me to talk about this. But now that we have, I am very happy with how it went. So thanks again for being in my interview.
MADDIE: Ya thanks for coming and finding me, I really appreciate it.
AMANDA: Maddie and I’s situation is one of many hard situations that friends go through within their college experience. Take this story in with an open mind and just remember that friendship should always be one of the positive aspects of your life, not a negative one.
[Music transition]
KATIE: We’ve spent the first half of our podcast speaking to the different types of experiences one might face in a college setting but what’s left to discuss, arguably the most important, is how we move on after we graduate. From a young age, we are told that in order to be successful we must get into a good college and earn a degree. That piece of paper determines what you can do with your life [pause] supposedly.
I’d like to argue the idea that we never really know what the hell we want to do with our lives. We’re constantly changing and developing new interests and trying out new skills. I feel like there has always been a stress on the millennial generation to choose a definitive career at a young age and stick with it. But frankly, that doesn’t feel realistic.When there is no pressure to pick, just going with what feels right in the moment.
That’s how we should approach our Careers.
Why do anything, if you don’t enjoy doing it? Sure you can choose a practical career that will make the people around you happy but what about your own happiness? It’s your life, live it the way you want. Make the mistakes, pick the wrong paths and circle back with your head held high.
Any time any one, whether it be a professor, classmate, random guy at the bar, asked me what my Major was, I’d reluctant say: Creative Writing. (often Adding in that I also studied English to make it sound better). But the follow up question would always be: Are you going to write a book? Or rather their faces would scrunch up in confusion at the words as if they were foreign. Oh, you’re one of those people.
Yes, I am an Arts Major. And Yes, it’s ‘unpractical’ to pursue the Arts when I could have placed all my efforts toward the 9 to 5 office job. But this is what I like.
But to answer the prompted question: Am I going to write a book? I don’t know. I think that would be an amazing accomplishment for someone in my field but that is not what I am limited to doing.
I won’t hide the fact that I’m graduating from college and I still don’t have a clear cut idea of what I’ll be doing after college but that’s okay because I don’t have to have everything figured out. I hold the belief that you can do anything if you put in enough effort. I won’t be discouraged by the writing on my degree, or let it stop me from pursuing something outside of it’s sphere. I want to do everything my heart wills me to
And nothing will stop me from doing that.
You should too. I want you to believe too, no matter where you are in your life. Whether you haven’t applied for university, or you’re 5 years out of college. You have the power to shape your life however you want. It shouldn’t matter what other people think. Our time on earth is so fleeting that we should just enjoy whatever we want to do be-cause later on, when we’re older we’ll have much rather lived a joyous life than a forced on.
ROBOT VOICE: To further illustrate the points I’ve made thus far, I sat down with my friend Liz. In her four years, She has changed her major at least 3 times, as well as transferred universities so I thought she would be the perfect candidate to share insight on this topic. Enjoy.
[acoustic music plays in the background]
KATIE: Have you ever felt pressure to pick a specific career that would please the people around you and was not necessarily what you wanted to? and like how do you feel about how society puts that pressure onto young people to do that?
LIZ: Yeah,So my dad is a veterinarian and he has his own practice, meaning either someone is going to have to take over the practice or he’s going to have to sell it. And so when we were younger, my two older brothers were definitely like “you know I want nothing to do with that, like I think my dad is awe-some but I don’t want to do that” and so it was like me that he was like “Oh, but Liz can take over” and I never had any intentions of that. My dad and I really fought over that for a long time and we still do be-cause he has no one to take over the practice essentially and that was always a hard rift. He went to Cor-nell undergrad, his father went to Cornell undergrad, and his father’s father went to Cornell undergrad, all for pre-vet and so it was kind of like this track that generations in our family took and so when none of took it, it was like what are you guys doing. And I think a lot of younger kids, they feel that too. Espe-cially if their parents are even merely successful. They are like oh follow this business structure, this is how you get to the end point. I hate the idea of squashing artistic ability in kids. If you want to do the fine arts as a career, and that’s your passion, take that anywhere, you can do that. I think our parents are so used to a structured job market, like this is how that works. But I think it’s fluctuated so much, like no job market is just one line so I can’t imagine being a younger child trying to find their way through that right now.
KATIE: When you were looking into Universities, going against what your parents expected of you, what exactly were you looking for, for yourself?
LIZ: I think I was just looking for a way to just take that rebel child motive and run with and looking back I would never change it but I come from a small town and so for me to have chosen Temple University in Philly as my first choice and to commit there and to go there. Everyone was kind of like, that’s her mov-ing away from a small minded mentality and this is her finding her own. I wanted to do that so desper-ately, I felt so constricted. I had looked at other colleges and they were just not fitting and so I tried and I failed pretty hard. And I think transferring just in general always has a negative connotation, like theres always just one bad thing that happened to you and that’s why your transferring and it’s kind of hard to accept the fact that you’re leaving somewhere. Well,I must have failed somewhere. I remember my mom being like, “I don’t think you’re failing, I think you’re growing up”. I don’t think anyone at the age of 18 is going to pick a school that’s necessarily 100% right for them. If you ask a lot of freshman in college right now if they’re happy with your choice they would say no but the only reason they don’t transfer is because of what their friends would think. And that’s hard, I can’t imagine.
KATIE: I mean my parents were the same way because they wanted me to put off going to college because they didn’t think I wasn’t ready and it’s hard for someone so young to make such a big decision and peo-ple in society think that like at such a young age we should have everything decided and like if we were to make changes, it’s seen as a negative thing but like you’ve made a lot of changes in your major, in your career path. What was running through your mind when you made all those decisions?
LIZ: I was a frazzled 18 year old going into school, I like thought like oh, history. I was so dead set on that, I really saw myself having a career with it but then I started to doubt it because, like you mentioned earlier, there’s a stigma toward certain things and history is one of them. People are like Oh so you want to be a professor and I’m like no, I want to be a historian of a certain time and I want to really dive into that and immerse myself into that. But as I kept growing and kept changing in school, I was like this is not who I want to be anymore. And so, I had been, my whole life, told that I was really amazing at writing so I was like oh journalism and I’ll try it. So I made my own blog and that had really flourished and I was picked up by a publication and I started writing for them and getting paid to do that and they sent me to shows and I was like wow this could really be who I am. And then Temple kind of crashed for me and so did my mental health and I was like am I flourishing where I need to or am I trying to cover up how I’m actually feeling? Was I doing what I was supposed to? And so when I transferred here to Susquehanna all of that kind of shifted, and I shifted completely when I came here. My mindset was different, I was hap-pier. I felt like I able to breathe here and figure out what I really wanted. And so it wasn’t until my junior year, a very big thing happened to us the fourth day of our semester. One of the girls living in the house had a complete break and she was not okay. She was not ready to be back to school, she was not ready to take on her world without figuring herself out first. And I helped her that entire night and I was good at it. The situation that I was put in was not a good one and I was never happy that she was going through that but what I realized was I am very good at deescalating a very volatile situation and I’m very good at talk-ing to people. And that idea really ran through that entire year, living in the house because I was the per-son that people came to and at the time I was overwhelmed by it and dealing with all these other things but in reality I knew that it really changed kind of who I was. I need to do something that I can see people’s lives change progressively throughout my career and that would be the only thing that would fulfill who I wanted to be in the future. And that was a big move and my parent’s were like this is the third time you’ve changed your mind, you need to get it together and I was like I have no idea what I’m doing and this is the first time in my life that I feel like might even the smallest bit of an idea so I took it and ran with it.
KATIE: A thought that I have is that we’re constantly changing and developing skills and interests and it’s hard to stick with one thing for the rest of your life even though it’s kind of expected of us to do it.
LIZ: I understand a college Major, I understand a college Minor, they’re so important but I feel like having this pressure to declare declare declare, it puts a lot on kids and especially when they’re first coming into college, I don’t even think you should have them declare that soon.
KATIE: Just the expectation for kids to go to college, when I know there are a lot of kids, including myself, who come their senior year of high school have no idea what they want they want to do with their life but their parents and society are saying go to college, get a degree, that’s the only way you’re going to get success in life.
LIZ: They want you to spend 140,000 dollars to figure out who you are when you don’t even know who you are.
KATIE: I feel like some people even come out of college not really even knowing where they’re going to be.
LIZ: My brother Mark, he’s 27, he took the GRE twice, did terrible. Applied to vet school in two different rounds, got denied by all of them. Applied for Grad school, got denied by all of those and it was like he was hitting a dead end wall but he didn’t get it. He struggled for a long time, to substance abuse and that was difficult for him, he had the first major heart break of his life. You can have a four year degree and you can have this thought in your mind that you have a plan but that’s never going to solidify your future. Your future is what you cultivate and that to me was always the scariest part, am I cultivating what I want?
KATIE: That’s always a fear that I’ve had, even now as a senior in college, I have things that I like to do but so many people keep asking me “What are you going to do with your life?”
LIZ: You come into college at 18, you’re fresh and new, you leave you are 22. You’ve been beaten down by life, beaten down by mental health issues you never thought you had. But okay if you don’t get a job or go to grad school right out of 4 years, what’s going on? Are you not succeeding? And it’s like what do you mean? I’ve suffered for 4 years. Can I take what I’ve learned, cultivated in my 4 years there and sit on it and think. Just take that time to really understand yourself first. You push your kids to go to college and then you wonder why they struggle, you wonder why they run into all these mental health issues, they run into all this stuff that beats them down and it’s like because you’re pushing people when they shouldn’t be pushed and they’re in a very vulnerable state and that’s just not right.
KATIE: Do you have any specific worries for after graduation and how do you anticipate confronting said things?
LIZ: I’ve thought about that a lot actually. I think my biggest worry is how do I as a recent graduate, how do I take that and become something else. I am thrown out into the world and I’m expected to be a profes-sional in the thing I’ve decided to be. I’m only 22. How do I function in the real world? I don’t even know how to confront that. I think to an extent I have to let myself be 22 and I think that’s always my advice to people. Yes, we’re graduating, that is massive and I will try to confront the fact that I am expected to make a next step for myself but I think everyone’s first step after they graduate needs to be a realization. Like what have I just done? I’ve done so much. I’ve made so much for myself so I think I’m just going to give myself some time, give myself some benefit of the doubt here, I don’t need to have my life together. I’ve just finished a massive chapter that is very long in the book of life. Let yourself be okay with not knowing and take that and run with it and explore new avenues, explore new experiences. Don’t confine yourself to what you think you love, because you probably have a lot of loves but it’s taking the one that you find to be the most powerful and acting on it. Don’t let society put you in a box. People in America have been so successful because they’ve made their own boxes and everyone’s box is going look different and if you try to follow someone else’s model, you’ll only be pleasing them and not yourself. And I think it’s important to really take pride in be different in a world where everyone wants to be the same. And so take care of yourself and really try to be yourself as much as you can.
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